The New Pentagon Retirement Bonus

The Pentagon recently discovered it had too many generals and offered an  early retirement bonus. They promised any general who retired straight  away his full annual benefits plus $10,000 for every inch measured in a  straight line between any two points on the general's body, with the  general getting to select any pair of points he wished. 

The first man, an Air Force general, accepted. He asked the pension man  to measure from the top of his head to the tip of his toes. Six feet. He  walked out with a check of $720,000. 

The second man, an Army general, asked them to measure from the tip of  his outstretched hands to his toes. Eight feet. He walked out with a check  for $960,000. 

When the third general, a grizzled old Marine, was asked where to  measure, he told the pension man: "From the tip of my penis to the bottom  of my testicles." The pension man suggested that perhaps the Marine general  might like to reconsider, pointing out the nice checks the previous two  generals had received. The Marine insisted and the pension expert said  that would be fine but that he'd better get the medical officer to do  the measuring. The medical officer attended and asked the general to drop  em. He did. The medical officer placed the tape on the tip of the general's  penis and began to work back. 

"My God!" he said, "Where are your testicles?" The general replied, "In 
Vietnam."

Author Unknown